The Heatles

(Sportswritten wordplay correspondent Scott Gantner is back and at his finest with this piece.)

Lebron has dubbed the 2011 Miami Heat "the heatles". Can you find all 8 Beatles song titles in the following article? 

The Miami Heat are a terrible team, right?  At least, that’s what Sportscenter keeps trying to tell me.  The rhetoric used on the Heatles is deserving of the 2008 Detroit Lions.  Miami has been taking heat from the media eight days a week.  They have no team chemistry, their bench players don’t contribute, and they’re terrible in close games.  In games where the Heat have had a chance to win on the last shot, they’ve lost 15 of 16.  This clearly indicates they need to come together and choose a designated leader.  Sometimes Lebron takes the final shot, sometimes Wade, even Mario Chalmers has given it a go.  After every loss, the analysts declare that Miami needs serious help.

            But if all of this is true, and the Heat really are the worst thing since the plague and traffic, then you might be surprised to hear this stat. 

The Miami Heat are 2 games back from leading the Eastern Conference.

            It’s true, they are currently one of the best teams in the league.  It almost seems impossible for this to be true.  The only things we ever hear about the Heat are negative.  I think the reason this is such a surprise is that we are in denial about how good they truly are.  The fact remains that Dwayne Wade, Lebron James, and Chris Bosh are star players who have the talent to dominate a game on any given night.  Do they have bad chemistry?  Yes, but if they can stay with the top teams in the nation without it, then who cares?  Their chemistry is only getting better.  So what if they have the fewest bench points per game in the league.  How many other teams have two players that average 25 points a game?  Their record in close games is so abysmal that even the slightest improvement will vault them into first place. 

            Back when Lebron made The Decision, expectations for the Heat were something out of this world.  It was the first time that two of the top 5 players in the league were going to be on the same team.  They were supposed to be the best team ever.  To carry that weight, the Heat would need to win 70 games a season.  With such high hopes early on, it’s easy to see why some are disillusioned by the team’s performance.  But let it be known that they haven’t failed yet.  Even as a Bull’s fan, I feel fine admitting that the Heat are a team that’s more dangerous than building a city below sea level (too soon?).

            So instead of railing on the Heat for all of their shortcomings, it’s time that we recognize that they are having a strong season, and understand their potential to win it all.  Coming from someone who doesn’t even like them, don’t be surprised if they end up taking it to the Lakers in the championship.  If this is as bad as the Heat can get, then I pray they never get good.

(Did you find all 8 song titles?)