BlogCatalog

Search This Blog

Monday, January 24, 2011

Jay Cutler and Classifying Bears Fans

Let me start this article with a word exercise. I'll say something, and then you think of what comes to your mind first.

God...

Health Care...

Jay Cutler...

Alternative Energy...


The thing is, most people had already made up their minds on all of these things prior to Sunday. I could've cooked Jesus into my pancake on Sunday, but that would not have made me convert to Christianity. I think most Bears fans who have already decided that they just don't like Jay Cutler could've seen Jay win the game yesterday playing on an injured knee and still dislike him if he made any mistakes later (which quarterbacks are bound to do), say, in the super bowl. There are fans that just don't like him- maybe it's just his face?

What I've noticed from the many Bears fans that I know from my time living in Chicago is that there are two groups of fans in Chicago.

The happy-go-lucky fans are glad that Cutler took the team this far and they don't blame him for the loss. They like Cutler for his aggressive gunslinger mentality and think he's a decent enough quarterback. They are disappointed that the Bears lost, but these fans are moving on, counting down the days until pitchers and catchers report for spring training and the Cubs win the World Series. "This is the year," they say.

Then, there is the angry Bears fan with a vendetta for Jay Cutler. This Bears fan feels the need to blame someone for the loss, because he can't simply admit that the Packers were the better team-- that would be the grownup thing to do. This fan is no grownup. This fan thinks Jay Cutler gave up. Yes, his knee was banged up, but this fan thinks a real football player plays through this injury. This fan thinks he has a right to see the Bears in the Super Bowl, and Cutler took that away from him. This fan has seen Jay Cutler answer questions to the media-- the evasiveness, the lack of eye contact, the condescending answers. This fan thinks athletes need to be likable figures, and Jay Cutler is not that. "This was the year," they say, "but Jay Cutler blew it."

Look, the thing about Cutler is that I don't know him, and neither does random Bears fan. He seems to be an evasive guy with a bad personality, but the only reason I have for saying that are his press conferences and what I've heard from other media members. The media hates this guy. Rick Reilly wrote 2 weeks ago, "For a man from Santa Claus, Ind., Jay Cutler is one of the least jolly people you've ever met." But I don't know anything about Jay Cutler. For all I know, he's a guy who's very nice to the people around him and happens not to care what people he doesn't know think of him. The point is that I don't know, and the impulsive Jay Cutler slander needs to stop.

He got hurt. He couldn't play. The Bears had statue-quarterback Todd Collins (SIDE NOTE: I'm inventing a drink called the Todd Collins. It's exactly like a Tom Collins except that the bartender glues it to the bar so it can't move) playing backup. That didn't work out. They brought in Caleb Hanie who did a respectable job, except for losing sight of B.J. Raji in coverage, which is sort of like losing sight of a bowling ball in a vat of marbles.

So, Mr. angry Bears fan, take a deep breath before you call for Caleb Hanie to start at quarterback next year. Cutler's an above-average quarterback that took the Bears back to relevance this year.

Instead of Cutler-slandering, maybe you should just have a drink to the large step forward the Bears took this year. Todd Collins' for everyone! You'll have to come over here though because its glued to the counter.

5 comments:

  1. Paragraph 3 (pitchers and catchers) was totally about me and its disrespectful you didn't reference me by name. Also, the todd collins should be like 180 proof, cause its REALLY stiff.

    Also, despite rick reilly desperately trying to vie for my affection by writing a glowing article about derrick "heir to air" rose, hes still a cunt. Tell him i said that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Henry Perry is one of the people already looking forward to pitchers and catchers reporting for spring training. Now you have your credit.

    As for Rick Reilly, he's probably my favorite writer at ESPN.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Also, if you're reading this and you like it, FOLLOW ME. I have a pathetic amount of followers for the amount of people that read this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dude it's getting better every week. The analogies are fresh and the grammar is flawless. Colleen would be proud. Kudos.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks, Bill. There's no doubt I love the analogy. I seem to start every article off with one.

    ReplyDelete