The Recruiting Pitches of the Surprisingly Successful Classes

I've always stressed that caring about the recruitment process- what essentially amounts to underage kids showing off their muscles- is creepy. In general, SEC fans are creeps, following there favorite local defensive end home and explaining that Auburn has better barbecue than Tuscaloosa. However, some creeps also have a computer. They friend the high school recruit on facebook and tell him LSU has really really hot girls, like, I promise. You're still a creep if you have a membership to rivals.com and look at pictures of juniors/sophomore/freshman in high school. However, now that all ink is on the paper (sort of), it's fair to have some discussion. Basically, the teams you'd expect are at the the top, but there are some surprises that lead me to question some players' judgement.

Florida State- Florida State got the 3rd best class in the country. Not bad for a team that hasn't won the ACC since '03.
Pitch that wasn't used: "You don't happen to kick field goals too, do ya?"
Pitch that was used: "So there's this website I think you should check out."

Texas- 5-7, bowl-less Texas managed the 4th best class.
Pitch that wasn't used: "Well, we fought back really hard against Iowa State and almost had 'em."
Pitch that was used: "Clearly, there's opportunity to play immediately."

Clemson- perennially average Clemson hauled the 5th best class.
Pitch that wasn't used: "Well, we usually start off every year pretty well..."
Pitch that was used: "We get to wear orange uniforms and we have a rock and a hill."

USC- sanctioned USC pulled in the 6th best class.
Pitch that wasn't used: "We had this running back. He averaged almost 10 yards a carry...his name?...oh, it doesn't matter."
Pitch that was used: "Let me take you around campus. Males tend to enjoy the sights..."

Notre Dame- ND still gets the 11th best class.
Pitch that wasn't used: "We're almost always in the top 15 in recruiting...Why don't we win? Well, I just got here, that's not my fault..."
Pitch that was used: "COME HERE OR GOD WILL SMITE YOU."

North Carolina-  UNC football does well with the 12th class.
Pitch that wasn't used: "Well, we had a good defense until they all got suspended..."
Pitch that was used: "Powder blue! Sure we call it baby blue, but we're like the Chargers. I bet Phillip Rivers wishes he came here instead of State now- could've been an all-time great college and pro powder blue wearer."

Washington- Sarkisian gets the 15th best class.
Pitch that wasn't used: "We turn great quarterbacks into bad quarterbacks!"
Pitch that was used: "It's easy to win when you only care about one game! We're 2-0 in my time at Washington. Take that USC."

Louisville- Miraculously, Louisville pulls the 22nd best class.
Pitch that wasn't used: "We made the Beef O'Brady's Bowl last year!...almost won it."
Pitch that was used: "Why come here?....ummmm..uhhhh....well, I wasn't really prepared for that question...OH! We have phenomenal fried chicken!"

(All rankings are from here.)

I'm shocked Penn State didn't make the top 25. Who could say no to this?: