Ramblings of a Sick Man

As my loyal readers have noticed, I have not been posting for almost a week. My lethargy and utter inability to think has been due to what doctors call Pneumonia (Pronounced Puh-noh-mee-ahh). Though doctors have failed to validate this, my initial symptoms included only being able to write about the WNBA (Diana Taurusi was a man all along, we've been Juwanna Mann'd), an imaginary friend named OJ (he wore really small gloves), and a penchant for everything parenthetical (I'm definitely not done with the parentheses). Naturally I couldn't post anything on the internet in this condition. However,  we have missed a lot over the last week.

Salute-tations, KSU

We must start with the Kansas State-Syracuse debacle because OMGICALLEDITSOMADARGHHH.  My very first article, the article I could've chosen any topic in the world to write about, I wrote about the travesty that is celebration penalties. I had no idea that I would be sitting here today having seen a player penalized on the most important play of the game for "acknowledging the crowd." Mr. referee is so tough. "Look at my brass balls, I can make a game-killing decision because a kid saluted to crowd." Eventually, a player will wave to his mother in the stands and he will be flagged 15 yards. The referee will explain, "the player waved to a member of the crowd, thus acknowledging her." I've said all I can say about this in the initial article. Let's hope this prompts the NCAA, but mostly the NFL, to change these rules.

Let's see what ESPNW has to say about this

Brett Favre's like a teenage girl in some ways: they have a camera phone and they use them in pretty much the same way. Brett Favre got NAILED with a $50, 000 fine from Roger Goodell for failing to cooperate with the investigation of his illicit pictures dick pics (I can say that on here, One of the many advantages of not writing for ESPN). The league could not support a harsher punishment, because they could not prove that Favre violated the league's personal conduct policy. Perhaps, the penis didn't have a Wrangler Jeans sleeve on it, so it was tough to believe it was Brett's.

Regardless, people, especially women, have been losing their heads over how Favre got off easy. I know it's tough being a women in the sports business and Sterger, if the reports were true, was undoubtedly put into a tough situation by Favre. The bottomline is, however, that we just don't know what happened between the two. It's impossible. Goodell's been nothing if not a strong disciplinarian in his tenure and if he had found wrongdoing he would have acted accordingly.

FInally, to round out my sports thoughts on the past week I present my opinions in ten words or less:

-New Years hockey > New Years Fiesta Bowl

- Oklahoma...Not on next year's bandwagon. Overrated 2011

-Blaine Gabbert...so good, so accurate, scouts love--HUGE PICK!

-Overrated: Big Ten's bowl losses; Underrated: Big 12's Bowl losses

-We all saw that Michigan State thrashing coming

-Every announcer this year, "RichRod is a smart football coach."

-TCU Linebacker has too many armbands.

This is all for today. I'm going back to rest my lungs which are breathing hot death bursts. I'll most likely get back to coherent, concentrated, sensical articles within a week.