Fill in the blanks of this Feb. 19th article by ESPN’s Rick Reilly in the first installment of Sportswritten’s “Re-Write Reilly.” Submissions will be accepted in the comment section and my favorite will be subjectively declared the winner. The winner will receive tips on how to make a sportswritten t-shirt (hint: it involves a black marker and a white t-shirt).
Wrestling with conviction
DES MOINES, Iowa
year-old wrestler Cassy Herkelman doesn't need
Number
anybody protecting her from . She's broken her
Noun
, split her ,
Body Part Body Part
wrecked her , all from .
Body Part Activity
She's about as as a .
Adjective Noun
She's her district's pony-tailed, 112-pound champion wrestler.
So why did her first opponent in the Iowa state high
school tournament
school tournament
Competitive Activity in Iowa
default rather than her?
Verb
Because "wrestling is a(n) sport and it
Adjective
can get at times," said 16-year-old
Adjective
Joel Northrup, in a statement. "As a matter
Adjective Noun
of and my , I do not believe
National Concern Religionthat it is appropriate for a to a
Type of Person Verb
in this manner." Coming into
Type of Person
, the Cedar
Tournament Name
Falls had
Descriptive Noun
every one of them against .
Plural Noun
"We believe in the and of women,"
Noun Noun
the father told the , "full contact sport is not how to do that."
Newspaper
She became the first in the -year history of the Iowa
Type of Person Number
state wrestling tournament to a , but
Verb Noun
thanks to Northrup, it's forever splattered with .
Unpleasant Substance
The last I saw Northrup, he was crying. After the default, he entered the
consolation round, where he won his first , then
consolation round, where he won his first , then
Noun Past-Tense Verb
a heartbreaker in , 3-2. He was done, with no chance
Location
to .
Verb
to .
Verb
Read the full unedited Rick Reilly article here:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=6136707
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=6136707
Credit to Scott Gantner for this idea.
Here's our first submission, enjoy.
Here's our first submission, enjoy.
Wrestling with conviction
DES MOINES, Iowa
67 year-old wrestler Cassy Herkelman doesn't need
Number
anybody protecting her from Justin Bieber . She's broken her
Noun
spleen , split her eyeball ,
Body Part Body Part
wrecked her Ursa Minor , all from crumping .
Body Part Activity
She's about as tough as a bag of kisses .
Adjective Noun
She's her district's pony-tailed, 112-pound champion wrestler.
So why did her first opponent in the Iowa state high
school crumping tournament
Competitive Activity in Iowa
default rather than plagiarize her?
Verb
Because "wrestling is a Mexican sport and it
Adjective
can get Guatemalan at times," said 16-year-old
Adjective
Balloon enthusiast Joel Northrup, in a statement. "As a matter
Adjective Noun
of 2nd Amendment Rights and my Manson family worship, I do not believe
National Concern Religion
that it is appropriate for a Methodist to fondle a
Type of Person Verb
Costco employee in this manner." Coming into
Type of Person
Tyler Perry’s Big Momma 3: Iowa State Fair , the Cedar
Tournament Name
Falls Velociraptor had
Descriptive Noun
every one of them against mascots .
Plural Noun
"We believe in the observation and study of women,"
Noun Noun
the father told the Cedar Falls’ Yellow Pages, "full contact sport is not how to do that."
Newspaper
She became the first senior citizen in the four -year history of the Iowa
Type of Person Number
state wrestling tournament to win a grammy , but
Verb Noun
thanks to Northrup, it's forever splattered with Nickelodeon Slime .
Unpleasant Substance
The last I saw Northrup, he was crying. After the default, he entered the
consolation round, where he won his first Participation Ribbon, then lost
Noun Past-Tense Verb
a heartbreaker in Valley Forge , 3-2. He was done, with no chance
Location
to Defeat the Commies .
Verb
NOTE: the spacing is a little off, but sportswritten readers are among the smartest species in the planet. You guys can figure it out.
ReplyDeleteThe format issues have been fixed. And might I add, "Re-Write Reilly," what a fantastic idea.
ReplyDeleteHave you decided to not write another article until somebody does this? Because there is this kind of big sports thing going on right now that may or may not be worth writing about.
ReplyDeleteToffa, I also write for bleacher report now and go to school. So, I don't need your sass haha. I do apologize for the wait, but now I have an 'article' up.
ReplyDeleteI know, I'm sorry for the sass, but I died a little bit inside every time I didn't see a new article.
ReplyDeleteAs for my entry, I'll get around to it, eventually.