The Most Exciting Play in Football

The beauty of the NFL is that every week is vastly different than the last. This week in the NFL, kick and punt returns took a special spotlight. Devin Hester cemented his place in return history by breaking Brian Mitchell’s career return touchdown record that he’s been staring down for years. Desean Jackson capped off an unbelievable Eagles comeback, deemed "the New Miracle at the New Meadowlands", with a walk-off punt return touchdown. Yet, some still say the most impressive return of the week came from offensive lineman Dan Connolly who picked up a squib kick and ran it down the sideline to the 4 yard line. Though Connelly’s return was of the kick variety, it does provide evidence for my conclusion that the punt return is the most exciting play in football, the most exciting game in the world (with apologies to soccer).

Punt returns are great, because they're either the most exciting play in the game or are totally boring. This is not true of other plays in football. On a punt, one can see a fair catch or a punt go out of bounds, akin to the excitement level of poker on television. However, there's always that chance. There's a chance that the punt might get blocked or that the returner might fumble. As we saw this weekend, there's the chance that the return man takes the punt for six. Punt return plays are either bland or electrifying. If you aren't a gambling man, then maybe punts aren't for you. You can stick with the consistent entertainment of offense/defense or making you can just stick to watching golf. There's no better way to convey my point than through the use of the most advanced application this world has ever seen, paint.

Now I'm a man with a graph. I'm respected. As you can see, my interpretation is that a small probability of punts end up in mildly entertaining plays. For example, a 10 yard return would be an average excitement level play. Of course 10 yard returns happen, but they don't happen that often. What you get with punts is a higher risk that the play will be utterly boring, but ultimately an overall more exciting play because of that risk. This is in contrast to, for instance, the pass play.

With a passing play, you're probably going to get some entertainment value, but there's a low probability that it will be an absolutely shocking play. Most pass plays result in incompletions or medium yardage completions. Rarely will you see a play that's completely boring or entirely exhilarating. Give me the risk of the punt return excitement that we saw over the weekend over the pass play or run play.

There's also the factor that punt return touchdowns or fumbles come unpredictably. A person can watch an offense and, with some accuracy, guess whether they will be successful or not on an upcoming play. If an offense appears stagnant the whole game, rarely will they suddenly find success later. An offense's previous plays are evidence for the outcome of their future plays. Yet, with punt returns it is an entirely different story. Take Devin Hester, the consensus best punt returner in the game. He returned 11 kicks/punts for touchdowns in his first 2 seasons (2006, 2007) then did not return a single ball for a touchdown until 2010. The Punt return touchdown is so difficult to predict that even the best punt returner in the game can have a 2 year drought without a single touchdown. In Desean Jackson's previous game against the Cowboys, he averaged 6.8 yards per return. Then suddenly he splits through the Giants special teams for a game-winning touchdown. There was no way to predict that the punter would shank the ball right to him and the Giants special teams unit would part down the middle like the Red Sea, letting Jackson sprint through for a touchdown. It just happened.

Finally, Punt returns are awesome because their is a variety of excitement provided. Excitement can be provided through big returns, touchdowns, fumbles, blocked punts, big blocks, and punts downed close to the goal line.  Then, there's the ability to blame the punter if something goes wrong. Everybody loves to blame the guy that only has one job all game and messes it up. When a punter messes up, delusional people on their couches at home say, "I could have done a better job than that." When a cornerback fails to cover someone or a defensive lineman gets pancaked, rarely is there someone who is delusional enough to think they are faster or stronger than an NFL player. "Oh, but punting, I could totally do that. Just give me a week to practice."

Punts, sometimes thought of as a mere formality in a game of offense/defense, provide the most exciting plays in football. There's a moral here. My advice to you: don't take a premature bathroom break or a run to the kitchen for more doritos after your team makes a stop on third down. You just might miss the best play of the game.